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I was a late-comer to having a ‘real job.’ Navigating a winding professional journey from Off-Broadway actor to freelance educator to creative strategist has buffeted me with my fair share of imposter syndrome—so much so that I eventually decided to immolate my meager savings in pursuit of an MBA in my 30s. My explicit goal: to remake myself into a shiny corporate archetype. Effectively, imposter syndrome convinced me that success required becoming more like everyone else.
During these studies, I took a class on how to better communicate and ‘sell’ your ideas. I was confounded by the obvious platitudes packaged as curriculum: Dress to impress. Practice makes perfect. Use humor. These felt like learnings for the lobotomized—things obvious and instinctual to us all. But, shockingly, many classmates cited the class as a definitive learning moment.
This juxtaposition shifted something in my mind. Perhaps my decades in front of audiences and classrooms weren’t just quirks to be remolded but unique experiences to be harnessed? Over time, I’ve become passionate about tackling my imposter syndrome head-on to continue honing my own communication skills and supporting others to more clearly convey their ideas.
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When did everyone become imposters?
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While ubiquitous today, the term “imposter syndrome” was first coined in a 1978 paper entitled The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women. It slowly gained traction across academic circles through the 80s and 90s, before the TEDx-ification of workplace and self-help culture took it mainstream in the 2000s. It was finally added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2017 as a sign of its indelible mark on the English lexicon, defined as “the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.”
Ultimately, imposter syndrome is decidedly not a reflection of how we are perceived by others, but rather a self-critical state fueled by our own insecurities. Still, it makes approximately 70% of us less likely to engage in career planning and advance into leadership positions, and more likely to experience job pessimism and burnout.
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Meet the Imposter Demons.
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Imposter syndrome particularly rears its ugly head(s) when we need to verbally express our thoughts and ideas. Added eyeballs magnify our insecurities—for some, causing us to shrink and recede; for others, to bloviate and bluster. Take a look at these archetypal Imposter Demons and consider: Which do you recognize in yourself? Which remind you of people you know or work with? In which scenarios might different Demons emerge for you?
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1. The Speed Racer. If I get through these ideas fast enough without offering any pauses, then they won’t have time to contemplate holes in my logic.
2. The Jargonaut. If I gild my speech with enough fancy language and complex terminology, they’ll be dazzled with my intellect and assume I’m right.
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3. The Robot. If I strip out all emotion and present the content as pure logic, then they’ll undoubtedly see it as credible.
4. The Hedger. If I frame everything as a question or overload it with “maybe,” “just,” or “sort of,” I’ll give a sufficient buffer to avoid reading my ideas too closely.
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5. The Encyclopedist. If I fortify my reasoning with every fact, figure, and footnote, I can confidently insulate myself from any pushback or criticism.
6. The Jester. If I lace my points with enough charm, wit, or self-deprecation, then they’ll focus on my personality instead of what I’m saying.
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7. The Teleprompter. If I script out and memorize every word in advance, I can be confident in what I’m saying without vulnerably exposing my own voice and intuition.
8. The Echo. If I piggyback on others’ ideas instead of offering my own, then I’ll sound like a contributor without taking any real risks.
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From Imposter to Supercommunicator.
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Regardless of how it manifests, your Imposter Demons don’t come with an on/off switch. Nor, perhaps, should they. According to the Harvard Business Review, imposterism can result in higher interpersonal ratings for doctors and more engaging interview performances for job candidates, explaining that “essentially, impostor thoughts make you more ‘other oriented’—more attuned to other people’s perceptions and feelings—which makes you more likable.”
The key is not denying or suppressing our insecurities, but—like any good 12 Step Program—acknowledging their ubiquity. Additionally, we must accept that those who seem most Demon-proof weren’t hard-wired that way from birth. In his exploration of Supercommunicators (strong recommend!), journalist Charles Duhigg reflects that “before writing this book, I thought supercommunicators were extremely charismatic, extroverts, or people who were popular in high school. It turns out that it’s quite the opposite.”
The supercommunicators among us may not have the sparkliest personalities, but they do have a remarkable ability to get other people in sync—both mentally and physically: “The better the listener’s understanding of the speaker’s story, the stronger the similarity between the listener’s brain and the speaker’s brain. In other words, when speaker and listener really understood each other, their brain responses became coupled.”
Duhigg references a 2023 study where neuroscientist Beau Sievers tested this neural synchrony between speaker and listener:
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“The groups with the greatest synchrony had one or two people who tended to speak less than dominant leaders, and when they did open their mouths, it was usually to ask questions. They repeated others’ ideas and were quick to admit their own confusion or make fun of themselves. They encouraged their groupmates and laughed at others’ jokes. They didn’t necessarily stand out as particularly talkative or clever, but…whichever opinion these participants endorsed usually became the group’s consensus answer. But that influence was almost invisible. When polled afterward, few people realized how much these participants had swayed their own choices.”
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Supercommunicators don’t impress with brute intellectual force or rhetorical flourish, but instead curate safe environments for people around them. When staring down your Imposter Demon, consider visualizing the Demons lurking on your peers’ shoulders. How might you lean into difficult moments with empathy, curiosity, and humility instead of forcefulness, fear, and bluster—bringing out the best in the people around you and building on shared points of alignment?
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How to be a Supercommunicator.
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1️⃣ Identify the type of conversation.
According to Duhigg, most conversations fall into one of three buckets:
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Practical conversations, to solve a problem or create a plan
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Emotional conversations, to discuss and connect on our feelings
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Identity-based conversations, to explore who we are, how we relate, and how we fit into society
Often, when our point fails to land it’s because the speaker and listener are having different conversations. We experience this in our personal relationships, for instance, when one person jumps to solving a problem when their partner simply wants to vent. In workplace situations, it can be tempting to see every conversation as a practical one, but this misses key opportunities to connect, understand what motivates others, and build solutions collaboratively. Supercommunicators are clear about the kind of conversation they seek, while also recognizing and naturally adapting to their partners.
🔨 Try it out: Explicitly establish your desired conversation type up-front and what feedback would be most useful. But be open to adjusting—if your audience focuses on feelings or identity when you were hoping to land a plan, meet them where they are.
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2️⃣ Ask deeper questions.
Shallow questions focus on functional answers; deep questions push someone to consider and articulate their values, experiences, and points of view. Studies show that people love answering deep questions, and supercommunicators typically ask 10-20x more questions, understanding that participation makes groups feel more cooperative, connected, and trusting.
🔨 Try it out: Whether in informal chats or professional discussions, elevate WHYs over WHATs—superseding shallow pleasantries to get at deeper matters of personal belief. Consider these subtle shifts:
Shallow: What are you doing this weekend?
DEEP: What would a great weekend look like for you? Shallow: Where did you go to school?
DEEP: Why did you pick the school you went to? Shallow: What are our success criteria?
DEEP: How do you hope people will respond to this work?
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3️⃣ Rehearse the stage directions.
In theater, you have your lines (what you say) and your stage directions (unspoken guidance on how to deliver lines, move, or interact). Supercommunicators know that their words are just one tool; Albert Mehrabian's research suggests that communication is 55% nonverbal (body language), 38% vocal (tone of voice), and only 7% verbal (words). Going in with a clear plan for not only what we communicate, but also how, helps fortify our message with confidence and clarity.
🔨 Try it out: Don’t just focus on the words you say. Invest some time to map out your stage directions—noting strategic pauses, areas to emphasize with verbatim quotes, and spots to engage the audience with questions.
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4️⃣ Inject a human moment.
I recall a meeting with a roomful of bank execs. Two opposing camps were slowly escalating the temperature. At a moment of peak tension, the project lead took a long pause and then launched into a story about a challenge her young son had recently overcome. It felt utterly random, and I can’t recall a single detail about the story. But I recall with perfect clarity the effect it had on the room. Suddenly everyone sat back in their chairs and smiled. Her moment of personal vulnerability, unrelated to the project, reminded everyone of their shared humanity and the sheer inanity of the disputed minutiae. And, quickly, a solution was reached.
🔨 Try it out: In the words of Simon Sinek, “A leader, first and foremost, is human. Only when we have the strength to show our vulnerability can we truly lead.” Vulnerability is contagious—injecting authentic humanity creates safety and permission for others to do the same and, ultimately, connect on a deeper level.
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Whether on a stage, in front of a classroom, or inside a boardroom, Barry has always believed that stories are the catalyst to transform perspectives. When not working as a Strategy Director at SYLVAIN, he’s a TikTok addict who uses it to eagerly seek out the best NYC has to offer—from theater, to craft fairs, to the best cinnamon roll in the five boroughs. You can also check out his artistic pursuits outside of work @Barry.Doodles on Instagram.
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Progress Report is a bi-weekly newsletter of business considerations, cultural conversations, and fun recommendations from around the world and web.
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